LGBTQ+ Maternity Shoot
When I saw Brittany and Terriann were pregnant it got me really excited to shoot something beautiful with them, showing off the gorgeous bump.
As most things, getting pregnant and having a baby is seen as such a heteronormative thing to do, and can really blow peoples mind when we see gorgeous LGBTQ+ people bring children into this world- in whatever way they decide to do it.
Because of that, there are many many straight facing couples showing off their gorgeous bumps and celebrating this new chapter in their life, however I see very few LGBTQ+ couples do this. I will scream it from the rooftops again, representation is needed!!!!
We headed to the most beautiful beach at West Wittering, where we managed to see the sunset, whilst Brittany & Terriann danced on the beach and celebrated their love growing.
It felt really special to share this time with this gorgeous pair, and really evocated lots of feelings for myself as a Gay girl, not only because of the lack of representation and “normality” around two married women having a baby together, but with the vulnerability of them opening up and being that representation that others in the LGBTQ+ community need and want.
I asked them a few questions about getting pregnant and being pregnant as a lesbian couple…
Terriann already has 3 handsome boys when they met. Brittany (being a teacher) knew she wanted children and so together, they agreed that having a baby was right for them, and that Brittany would carry. Deciding to chose AI (artificial insemination), whilst still making sure Terriann was involved at every step- something that was really important to them as a lesbian pregnancy.
As weeks went by the first scan soon arrived and they both instantly felt that emotional connection together. Seeing the their baby on the screen was really magical, and something so important and special that they shared as a couple.
Fingers were crossed for a little girl, to add to their tribe and at the 20 week scan they found out that a girl would be joining them. Experiencing everything together, as a team is something they’ve really focused on, from picking her name to buying outfits and preparing for her arrival, like any other married couple.
Terriann also shared her thoughts and feelings with me too, being the non-carrying parent. It started very up and down, with different emotions, even though she was happy for Brittany to give birth to their baby, but as she’d been pregnant previously it felt very strange. Making sure they were in it as a team and opening up to Brittany about this was something that was important to the moment and the situation. Being able to see scans, watch the baby grow, feel for the first movements really felt like they truly are their little girls Mamma’s, and how lucky she is!
Brittany makes lots of effort in trying to make it equal too, with Terriann rubbing her belly every night, making sure they both have hands on with every kick or movement. All having the same last name is something that was really important too, now being Married that’s something that can happen but not all LGBTQ+ couples have that.
With the positivity coming from being an LGBTQ+ couple having a baby, there has come negativity too, which has come from others. Many hospital staff have referred to Terriann as “the friend”, and I really admire them for making sure these people are aware they’re Wife and Wife (something that can feel very daunting for LGBTQ+ people). Other things about questioning who the “Dad” is and even asking Brittany if this was a holiday romance. I believe this comes from people not understanding, not opening them self up to learning and the heteronormative life we’re bought up in. However that isn’t the point and certainly doesn’t make it right! I am so glad that Terriann and Brittany were keen to talk about this, share their story and their memories of this time. Hopefully allowing more people to stop and think, and educate them self in understanding and realising not everyone sticks to the binary.
LGBTQ+ rights on parenting and general knowledge has a lot of work to do, especially within the professional areas where I believe these people should know more about different types of relationships, genders and sexualities that can be involved when having baby.
“Don’t let someone’s lack of thought make you feel in any sort of way, correct them and speak up because we’re not the first couple to experience this and we won’t be the last if something isn’t said.”
